My Story

A couple years ago, I came into college as a mass communication major. I remember just thinking "I can't wait to be a broadcast on TV! I'm going to be so famous!"

I was also excited for a fresh start. I was anxious to meet new people and I would be running cross country/track pumped for the opportunity to improve and become the runner I dreamed of.

Well things changed and my mindset went quickly downhill.

The first shocker I received was making a C- on my first paper for writing 101. After this, I quickly realized college was not going to be the breeze high school was. I was struggling in my Spanish class, math class, and even mass. comm. class.

Running cross country was a lot of fun. My teammates were cool and my coach knew what he was talking about.

There was just one problem.

I was not improving one bit. I was consistently in the back on workouts and races. Practice started to become not enjoyable.

On top of dealing with an unhealthy relationship and some other factors, I was miserable at Winthrop.

Christmas break came around and I was relieved to be home with my family. My family has always been my biggest support group. It was such a relief to come back to them.

Around Christmas, I was hit with another blow. After going to the doctor for a sore throat and headache, I was diagnosed with mono (this probably had something to do with my terrible season). This meant that I could not run for 3 months on top of feeling under the weather.

I did not want to go back to school. Period.

The spring semester came around and I returned to school unwillingly. I continued to make mediocre grades, this being my fault. I also shut myself off socially.

I was so distant from my friends and teammates because I did not want to deal with people. I did not want to talk about anything in my life at that point. I drove home every weekend desperate to escape.

I was so thankful when summer came around and the time I spent with my family. My days consisted of working, training, and making myself stronger.

Notice at this point I have not mentioned anything about my relationship with Christ. My freshman year I planned on getting involved in campus ministry but I kept making excuses for myself out of laziness.

What started as laziness became me intentionally avoiding God's calls. At the time, I was dealing with other issues and feeling I was so deep into sin, there was no point in turning to God, even when He was the only one that could fill the void inside me.

You are probably wondering by now if there is any good out of this story. Let me assure you there is.

That summer, I forgot how good it felt to go to church every Sunday and have that reminder of His love for me weekly. It was a good time to clear my mind from everything that had happened the previous school year.

Although still not excited for my sophomore year I came in with a positive mindset. I recovered from mono, I was in a better place spiritually, and I was single once more. I felt many of the burdens of the previous year were washed away and it truly felt like a fresh start.

The first week of team bonding in the mountains was awesome. I never really appreciated my teammates until that week in the mountains. I felt like I belonged.

The first week of school, my sister Janet told me about a campus ministry called CSF that she attended at Winthrop. Since I knew David, the leader of CSF, I quickly jumped at the opportunity to go that Wednesday.

As I sat and observed everyone in the room, I realized that these young adults are passionate to learn about the Gospel just like me. As David began to delve into the Bible, as cheesy as it sounds, I could hear God saying "Welcome home Allen".

Soon after, I got involved in FCA which is another great campus ministry.

I saw vast improvement in my running career. My 8K PR dropped by over a minute and my 5K PR dropped more than 30 seconds. I felt healthy, I felt strong, and I could not have had more confidence.

Not to mention, I met a girl who I am in love with still to this day. I could not have dreamed of a more kind, caring, and God fearing girl. She motivated me to keep up with my studies while also holding me accountable spiritually.

Sophomore year flew by and my summer was more or less the same as the previous summer except I was living in Rock Hill.

This brings me to where I am today and the reason I am writing this blog. As graduation gets closer, my fear of what is ahead gets stronger. The thoughts of "How am I getting a job straight out of college?","What if I disappoint my family and friends?", constantly cross my mind.

I have decided to resurrect my blog because 1) I enjoy writing, 2) writing will be important in my field, therefore, it is important to practice, 3) and last I hope to gain back the spark I once had for journalism.

Also, it is a good way to reflect and hopefully bring me closer to God. Even though I am in a better place than I was, I still constantly seek His love and grace.

In closing, I'll say this. No matter the circumstances, no matter how hopeless, lost and confused you feel, you are never past the point of saving. The Lord is there with his arms wide open waiting to embrace you, waiting to fill you up with His love.

God loves you unconditionally.

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8